Each calendar in Cupla has an assignee: Me, My Partner, or Us. The assignee controls who the calendar’s events belong to in Cupla. You set it on iPhone. Cupla on Android has no assignee for a calendar, so calendars you connect there are always yours, and the one setting you can change on a calendar there is Share event details.
How to change a calendar’s assignee (iPhone)
Tap the menu icon (☰) in the top-left corner of the Home screen. If there is no ☰ on your Home screen, tap More in the bottom-right corner of the screen instead.
Tap Calendar Settings.
Tap Calendar Connections.
Find the calendar you want to update.
Tap the edit button beside that calendar.
Choose the assignee: Me, My Partner, or Us.
Tap Save.
Why can't I choose my partner?
The middle option — which shows your partner's name — is unavailable on every calendar, for everyone. It is switched off by design, so updating Cupla, restarting it or reconnecting the calendar will not make it selectable.
A calendar you connect belongs to you, so its events can appear as Me or, if you both treat it as shared, as Us. For events to appear on your partner's side of Cupla, your partner connects their own calendars from their phone, exactly as you did on yours.
Choosing Us also turns on Share event details for that calendar, so your partner sees full event titles rather than just busy time.
My calendar is set to Me but its events still show as Us
If you have set a calendar to Me and its events still appear in the couple’s colour, with Owner: Us on the event, check whether the same calendar is also connected in Cupla on your partner’s phone. When you both connect the same calendar, Cupla sees the same event on both sides and treats it as something you share, and the assignee setting does not change that.
Only one of you needs it connected. Whoever the calendar does not belong to disconnects it on their own phone:
Tap the menu icon (☰).
Tap Calendar Settings.
Tap Calendar Connections.
Tap that calendar’s name under Device Calendars — the row itself, not the switch on it. The coloured ring beside the name turns grey and the Share event details switch disappears from the row.
Tap Save.
Nothing is lost, because they still see those events through Cupla.